The Public Ineffectual

Can anyone recommend a dentist on the plateau?

2006-04-25T17:16:00.000-04:00

What do Exlax, George Soros and Bill Gates have in common?

2006-04-03T22:34:00.000-04:00

I see a lot of myself and the people I know in the "liberal communists'" Ten Commandments:

1. You shall give everything away free (free access, no copyright); just charge for the additional services, which will make you rich.

2. You shall change the world, not just sell things.

3. You shall be sharing, aware of social responsibility.

4. You shall be creative: focus on design, new technologies and science.

5. You shall tell all: have no secrets, endorse and practise the cult of transparency and the free flow of information; all humanity should collaborate and interact.

6. You shall not work: have no fixed 9 to 5 job, but engage in smart, dynamic, flexible communication.

7. You shall return to school: engage in permanent education.

8. You shall act as an enzyme: work not only for the market, but trigger new forms of social collaboration.

9. You shall die poor: return your wealth to those who need it, since you have more than you can ever spend.

10. You shall be the state: companies should be in partnership with the state.

This the answer to the question above that drew you in, in the first place:

There is a chocolate-flavoured laxative available on the shelves of US stores which is publicised with the paradoxical injunction: Do you have constipation? Eat more of this chocolate! – i.e. eat more of something that itself causes constipation. The structure of the chocolate laxative can be discerned throughout today’s ideological landscape; it is what makes a figure like Soros so objectionable. He stands for ruthless financial exploitation combined with its counter-agent, humanitarian worry about the catastrophic social consequences of the unbridled market economy. Soros’s daily routine is a lie embodied: half of his working time is devoted to financial speculation, the other half to ‘humanitarian’ activities (financing cultural and democratic activities in post-Communist countries, writing essays and books) which work against the effects of his own speculations. The two faces of Bill Gates are exactly like the two faces of Soros: on the one hand, a cruel businessman, destroying or buying out competitors, aiming at a virtual monopoly; on the other, the great philanthropist who makes a point of saying: ‘What does it serve to have computers if people do not have enough to eat?’

If only we could feed the world on good intentions.
Thanks Setare!

Dispatch from the Desk

2006-04-02T23:58:00.000-04:00

I'm going to Korea next week for a week to visit my Grandma for her 88th Birthday. Been thinking about the particularities of how difference is created in such a "racially pure" and "homogenous" country. This passage reminds me of how difference is sustained:

In Wilhelmine Germany there were no formal disqualifications attached to being of the Jewish faith, much less to being Jewish origins. As early as 1812 Berlin Jews had achieved citizenship (such as it was in early Prussia), and some residual limitations on the related rights had been set aside in 1848. Yet, "after centuries of official discrimination against Jews, the juridical act of emancipation could not effectively bring about their equality of entitlements in social terms. Through what has been called the 'suppression of the constitution by means of administrative practices,' Jews were still largely excluded from state offices, judicial positions, academic chairs and military careers, and remained second-class citizens through to the end of the Wilhelmine era."

-- Gianfranco Poggi on the liability of Georg Simmel's Jewish heritage in spite of his family's Protestant conversion, his baptism and avowed secularism, , Money and the Modern Mind, 1993

It is currently 8 degrees outside...

2006-03-30T22:19:00.000-05:00

There is a girl sitting across from me...
at the library...
reading...
"making sense of social theory"...
in a tube top...

A Dispatch from the Desk

2006-03-30T20:47:00.000-05:00

Georg Simmel on Retirement:

"Because the majority of modern people must focus on the acquisition of money as their proximate goal for most of their lives, the notion arises that all happiness and all definitive satisfaction in life is firmly connected to the possession of a certain sum of money; it grows inwardly from a mere means and a presupposition to an ultimate purpose. But when this goal has been attained, then frequently deadly boredom and disappointment set in which are most conspicuous among business people who retreat into retired life after having saved up a certain sum. After the loss of the circumstances which caused the consciousness of value to concentrate on it, money reveals itself in its true character a mere means that becomes useless and unnecessary, as soon as life is concentrated on it alone - it is only the bridge to definitive values, and one cannot live on a bridge."

-- Georg Simmel, "Money in Modern Culture"

Henry, Philosopher King

2006-03-23T10:59:00.000-05:00

Henry answering questions
Originally uploaded by steveyb.

The first words to my mind today were those of Henry Rollins in a spoken word performance:

Just because someone tries to hand you a big pile of horse shit, doesn't mean you have to take it.

So true isn't it?

Thanks to stevey for the image!

It's Official....."Winter Warmest Ever on Record in Canada"

2006-03-13T22:04:00.000-05:00

Thank you, chlorofluorocarbons. Thank you, carbon monoxide.

Cheering, Jeering and Beering

2006-03-03T12:36:00.000-05:00

Remember the World Cup in Japan/Korea in 2002? Yeah, that was the shit. Running around town all hours of the night, jockeying for position in any kind of establishment - coffee bar/sports bar/bistro - for a whiff of a game whose rules I barely understand. Cheering, jeering and beering.

For the first time in years, I plan on sitting down to watch the Oscars aka Academy Awards and would like to recapture some of that World Cup spirit. The thought of watching in from home is utter tedium and like the Elections or the Olympics, these types of television events don't motivate me to turn on the telly. But neither of the aforementioned have the advantage of featuring John Stewart or that yummy Jake Gyllenhaal.

Does anyone have any suggestions from around town where I might do this? Copacabana would be nice, I thought.

Another related thought: Elections Canada should have gotten John Stewart to do live elections coverage and announced it up front. People might have felt invested and we might not be in the shit, as we are now.

Perspective

2006-02-20T11:00:00.000-05:00

I really like John Stewart's approach to the prospect of failure:

"So you give up a home run in the All-Star Game," he responded when asked if he feared bombing in front of tens of millions, to say nothing of Jack Nicholson and Tom Hanks. "You're not risking anything. This is a reward. If I made my living hosting awards shows, then this would be a perilous track, I guess."

Inconvenient Democracy

2006-01-27T00:25:00.000-05:00

Quote from article above:

The victory of Hamas represents an enormous test for the Palestinians, for the Western nations who pressed for this election and who provide millions of dollars in aid to the Palestinians and for the Arab world, which is likely to be shaken by the victory of a militant Islamic party in the symbolic heart of the Muslim world.

...this article followed by a look-what-you-gone-done headline, "Bush Defends His Goal of Spreading Democracy to the Mideast".

This Is Drifting

2006-01-27T00:20:00.000-05:00

I can confirm that CrouchingTurbo, Oblivia's sister, will be hitting town in a few weeks for a fun filled few days. There will be a soiree.

People ask me what she does and try and describe the motor sport that her company sells supplies for called "drifting". These guys are nuts in this vid. They probably shouldn't be weaving in and out of traffic like that.

This sport is practiced all over the world where there are car enthusiats.

The Book I Would Like to Ghost-Write

2006-01-26T11:26:00.000-05:00

For Lightspeedchick

2006-01-15T19:55:00.000-05:00

wrong way.
Originally uploaded by jeevs.

May you arrive on this sign *just before* you need it the most.

Letting Go

2006-01-13T01:18:00.000-05:00

As soon as I gave myself permission to eat, I wasn’t hungry anymore. As soon as I gave myself permission to stop, all I wanted to do was keep going. As soon as I gave myself permission to sleep, I remembered the name of the Fine Young Cannibals’ lead singer: Roland Gift. I wrote about habits of mind before but now I have a fuller understanding of how it applies to me.

I choose a path and I stick with it for much longer than I ought, believing this to be steadfast and admirable. But if I become less comfortable with said path as I start down it, I don’t stop to think about it because that would mean I made a mistake. And that’s bad, right? Its good to be right, right? I find myself in a situation of an unnatural lock down where I simply imprison myself. You must. You must. You must. But its MY cage and I even find myself defending it at times. I smother inklings that I should change course, preferring to carry on in an attempt to live up to the ideal of what I started, only with none of the original conviction and zeal. Only by forcing myself to choose and not judging myself for it, makes it less of a struggle.

I'm learning, slowly.

"chest-high water"

2006-01-08T20:55:00.000-05:00

Australian woman killed by bull shark in "chest-high water" - close enough to be heard and laughed off as a joker by friends.

*shudder*

Ordering Pizza In the Year 2010

2006-01-04T23:37:00.000-05:00

Insert requisite where-does-the-time-go post here.

2006-01-02T21:22:00.000-05:00

I can't say I'm risk averse but perhaps I'm not as good with change as I would like to think I am. Rather, I find that the kind of change I don't want to be everywhere and the kind of change I can do without to be terribly stable.

REGIME CHANGE can't happen fast enough for me (is that like turning up the music to block that persistent smell of sewage?) The couch is tapped of SPARE CHANGE so its a damn good thing I'm starting a new job soon. I'm a bit sick of the tune I've been whistling lately but (like a good Stock Aitken and Waterman song) the KEY CHANGE is coming up, I can feel it. I was glad to get a CHANGE OF SCENERY back in the fall only to realise that there was nothing really wrong with the view where I am now. And finally, a perennial: why do clothing retailers (upscale or otherwise) always have dust bunnies in their CHANGE ROOMS?

I'm grateful for the people friends I made last year and for the continued health and prosperity of the people dear to me, near and far. Let this never change.

And finally, a word to the wise. Don't take my silence as a sign that I don't think of you. It could simply be that my computer's hard drive failed and I've lost "data" that was meaningless to me until it became impossible for me to access it anymore. THEN I saw fit to scour the ends of the earth to find a way to get it back. Back up your data.

Its people like this that give winos a bad name.

2005-12-24T00:46:00.000-05:00

I was in a clothing store near my house, looking for a belt to go with my new (well, retouched) suit. A greying man saunters in, with a wine bottle sticking out of his jacket pocket. The shopgirl serving me and I exchanged a little knowing look - he's in the wrong place. She stops fussing over me and turns her attention to him asking if "he's looking for something in particular" to which I hear him grumble loudly about getting a gift for his wife. She graciously humours him, suggesting he might get her a sweater or such. I turn back to comparing the gunmetal grey sash versus the black leather belt with silk tie combo.

Just moments later, they are in the course of a transaction at the cash. He turns around and strides purposely for the door. She starts crying and heads for the washroom.

In the time it took me to vascillate over the purchase $10 accessory, the store got held up by knifepoint and robbed.

Merry Xmas.

Angry Asian Girl

2005-12-12T10:23:00.000-05:00

Following the riots on Cronulla beach, these are the words of Australia's Prime Minister, John Howard:

I do not accept that there is underlying racism in this country. I have always taken a more optimistic view of the character of the Australian people. This nation of ours has been able to absorb millions of people from different parts of the world over a period of now some 40 years, and we have done so with remarkable success, and in a way that has brought enormous credit to this country.

Johnny, this absorption of "millions of people from different parts of the world" has been going on for over 200 years now, not 40. This so-called success has been predicated, supported and perpetuated by institutionalised racism (White Australia Policy) on a national and international scale. Australia (much like Canada) has always quietly known that its status as a "white" country is tenuous and illegitimate at best.

What follows is a rant I posted in response to this comment on this :

Do all of the ethnic thugs represent Lakemba? No. In Cronulla on that ill fated Sunday there was a mix of locals and out of town thugs and white supremists looking for a fight. On top of this, about 80% of the 5000 or so people present were spectators.-- physically sick

i hope you will forgive me for being a mere spectator, phyisically sick, the day a lynch mob is after you. i guess your point is that these 80% were licking ice cream impassively watching others become the target of misdirected RAGE for no other offence than being *brown* (not the sunbaked shade) and *there*. three words: not-good-enough.

you're right, for something of this size to happen, there has to be organising elements. when was the last time you successfully got 40 people to arrive *ANYWHERE* at the same time? the existence of these facists and their startling success signals massive failure on all of our parts. they have been able to tap into a current of racism supposed justified by "events" like the gang rape of a white woman, 9/11 and bombings in bali. "ordinary decent australians" have not stood up/spoken up but appear to prefer to shut up/put up. what is wrong with this picture: the government sends troops into a iraq when most of the country opposes it, even after the above "events". many many many multiple of the cronulla gathering protested in the streets all over the country opposing the iraq invasions. australia condones murder in the form of war and tells singapore and malaysia that "killing is bad, m'kay" when australians break their laws. what the HELL is going on?

if australia, and the US Dick (Cheney) we're collectively sucking carries on the way we have domestically and overseas, we're in for a scary ride. the "mob" mentality doesn't even have to be in a gathering; people are apparently doing away with the excuse of "i'm just here because i heard here was going to be free food". random violence is erupting in places as far from cronulla as castle hill and ryde. AWESOME! I mean, the price of petrol is so expensive the average person can't AFFORD to drive to cronulla from castle hill without discussing a second mortgage first. now i can get some of that wog bashing action right in my own fucking shire! Woo hoo!

WHY AM I SO ANGRY ALL THE TIME????

This Is Ass Was Brought to You by Keram

2005-11-13T23:41:00.000-05:00

Mongolian Spot
Originally uploaded by Oblivia.

Keram is all of 4 months and that spot, that Mongolian Spot, is to be found on the bum of a Turkish baby. I had it, my sister had it, my half-Korean cousins had it. Its just a pigmentation that goes away after the first couple of years. Nothing to do about it but just watch it fade.

He's really lovely and soft.

Resolver

2005-11-09T11:51:00.000-05:00

I made a promise to myself yesterday and I bloody well kept it. The result wasn't perfect but it got done and it made me feel quite chuffed with myself. I had to forego drinking with the gurls (yes, on a Tuesday night but Atomic landed back in town for a fleeting visit) but I think it was even worth the sacrifice.

Finished. 2:30am. A treat is in order. Poutine? No, too heavy! I settled on a glass of wine at the bar across the road with a book for company.

From "Simple Life" by Cristina Garcia: "Resolver, to resolve, is probably the most commonly used verb in the language on the island [of Cuba]. 'Resolver' can mean resuscitating a twenty-year-old Russian Lada for a ride to the beach or tracking down a single out-of-season sweet potato for a dessrt offering to Yemaya, goddess of the seas....'resolver' means to survive, to overcome all obstacles with inventiveness, spontaneity, and most important, humor."

Cuba In Mind: An Anthology ed. Maria Finn Dominguez, Vintage Departures, New York, 2004, page 251

Thanks for the reading, AJ!

"Rumours of My Death Have Been Greatly Exxagerated" *

2005-10-27T19:14:00.000-04:00

I've been working here for 2 months now and on the one hand, I feel like I just barely got the seat warm and on the other, I may as well have been born in this cubicle for its familiarity. Being my last week, I knew it was going to be a tough one no matter what happens. Its like breaking up, only your job is your lover. (This only applies if you're not made of stone or jelly, you're in possession of a limbic brain and spinal cord and a little integrity about your self and work.)
My workmate/taskmaster, Zach, presented me with a swag of TV branded booty as a thanks-goodbye-goodluck and that made the end really real.

I've traded in my iPod for my earplugs and I've been full steam ahead and finishing stuff. I'm happy to be able to get back to my old Montreal life to capitalise on this momentum. Since I got here, my life is an airborne Boeing 747, circling over the city waiting for the fog to lift as I await the "all clear" from the control tower...all the while well aware of limited fuel reserves. This lumbering beast needs to come in for a landing. It may take a couple of attempts and I may even crash. Crashing, of course, is just a spectacular means to the same ends.

This is not to say I've been unhappy in Toronto - far from it, in fact. I've managed to (re)affirm to myself that I can pretty much get along in any city. And I haven't been lonely but I've also realised more than ever how much people can make the difference in getting you in and out of your orbit. (I'm a bit slow, what else can I say?)

I've largely kept to myself here but I've met some cool people and I'm always grateful for that. I saw The Roots in concert finally at the Docks and they kicked more ass than your puny mind can conceive of, they were that good. I made it to Koreatown and Koreatown North (North York) and Chinatown and Chinatown East. Toronto's bike path system is awesome as they are numerous and numbered like highways. Public transport is a joy but it costs a pretty penny too. I lived in an area a local called "cracktown" as mentioned in an earlier post but I never so much as got heckled even as I passed the two missions within a block either side of my apartment building. Maybe that goes can be attributed to Ontarian Protestant politesse.

*Mark Twain

Not Dead...In Toronto

2005-09-22T13:24:00.000-04:00

Actually, I love it here. I have my own apartment with views of downtown and glimpses of Lake Ontario. I'm learning more and more every day about the crack economy of the city thanks to the sketchy area I live in. I'm coming back soon enough and I will try and update a bit more often.

I've got way too much to say right now and a lunch break to say it in so I'm going to file under "Later". I recently joined his mailing list of one John Legend and got a dispatch largely concerning Kanye West's outburst and the aftermath of Katrina.

Now, I'm currently working in publicity at a large media company so my first instinct was, "WHO is his publicist?" thinking that surely he could not have penned it himself. It is as soundly argued as it is long (which, on second thought, should have made me nix the publicist notion) and one of the most well-written, articulate and cogent pieces of ANYTHING I have read in a really, really long time. As it turns out, the guy used to be a business consultant with BCG after graduating with an ENGLISH DEGREE from UPenn (reportedly one of the still worthy-of-the-reputation Ivy League schools). Wow.

I've cut and paste the entire thing here:

Hey people. Greetings from Paris. The European tour has been incredible, sold out all over the continent and the UK, and we're having a great time. However, my mind has often been focused on the awful tragedy that has befallen New Orleans and the rest of the Gulf Coast area. I've truly been saddened by the images and stories that I've seen and heard on the news. Even in Europe, coverage of Katrina and its disastrous effects has dominated the newscasts.

In all my recent interviews, reporters have asked me what I think of the hurricane and our government's tragically flawed response. They've particularly asked me about the comments made by my friend and frequent collaborator, Kanye West, who said, among other things, that "George Bush doesn't care about Black people." His comments may have shocked a lot of people, but he also inspired many and gave voice to a lot of people's frustrations about the truly disturbing images of so many poor Black hurricane victims who were getting the worst of the disaster and George Bush's seeming indifference.

So what do I think about the situation? First of all, I'm truly sad to see such an important, unique city as New Orleans made uninhabitable. New Orleans is such an important city in American and Black music history. It is the birthplace of so much culture, and there's no other place like it in America. I've always loved visiting there and performing there, and I get such an empty feeling knowing that I won't be able to perform there again for a long while.

Secondly, it is truly heartbreaking to see the images of so many people taken out of their homes and made to live in sports arenas and convention centers with thousands of other evacuees. Many have been separated from everything they know and love: their families, their homes, all their earthly possessions. It's terrible. And for this to happen in a country as wealthy and prosperous as ours is shameful, leaving a number of very serious questions that must be asked and answered.

Regarding Kanye's comment, I'm proud of his courage to say what was on his mind. It heightened everyone's awareness of Bush's failings as a leader. And it may very well be true that Bush doesn't care much about the Black constituency. We can only speculate as to what's in his heart and mind regarding Black people, but there certainly is evidence that Bush governs like he cares only about the interests of the rich and powerful. His strategy has clearly been to keep his fervent base (the rich and the cultural conservatives) motivated. So he makes sure the tax cuts and corporate welfare keep coming. And he throws enough symbolic (rather than substantive) bones to the working and middle-class cultural conservatives to keep them motivated. And anyone that falls outside his fervent base, his administration disregards. That includes Black people because he figures that we won't vote for him anyway, so why waste energy and political capital on us? That doesn't mean he doesn't like Black people on a more personal level ("Hell, some of his best cabinet members are Black!"). He's just doing the math (well, his strategist Karl Rove probably is) and making sure he focuses on a winning strategy, which requires next to no Black votes to keep him in power. In addition, he turns a blind eye to the efforts of Republican foot soldiers to exploit racism and to suppress the votes of urban Blacks who tend to vote Democratic. So, the net result is that his administration governs with no regard for the concerns shared by most of the Black community.

But I think a more precise analysis is that Bush's policies are decidedly anti-poor and pro-rich. This is more of a class issue than a race issue. I think it's a mistake when people equate "Black" and "poor" as though they're interchangeable terms. Being poor and Black have been highly correlated in our nation's tumultuous history, but they are not the same thing. In New Orleans, the overwhelming majority of the poor are Black and the majority of the Black citizens are poor. But this nation is full of a wide range of Black experiences and the poor come from all colors of the rainbow (though Black & brown are clearly over-represented in that rainbow).

All that being said, I don't think that I agree that Bush's slow reaction to the disaster was because a disproportionate number of the un-evacuated victims of Katrina were Black. While there have been many instances of racism in the evacuation process in New Orleans and the surrounding areas and in the reporting about the aftermath, I don't think Bush's early inaction was based on his own racism. I think Bush was truly oblivious to the extent of the disaster and the despair that overwhelmed the city. From all of his statements and the reports of his behavior right after the hurricane hit, it is abundantly clear that the President was uninformed as to the suffering that was going on. He has insulated himself from the news (actually he's proudly announced that he doesn't read the news!) and anything that disturbs his bubble of ignorance, and it took several days before his staff and the overwhelmingly disturbing images on the news could penetrate his ignorant bliss. Not to mention the fact that his FEMA staff was headed by people that don't know much of anything about dealing with emergencies. He clearly de-prioritized emergency management as a federal responsibility and it came back to bite everyone in the ass with Katrina. However, simply saying that Bush was uninformed and unprepared rather than racially motivated in this case is not letting him off the hook. On the contrary, it is extremely dangerous and inexcusable for our President to be incompetent in these types of circumstances.

And, as usual, the people who are suffering the most as a result of the administration's negligence are the people with the least resources to fend for themselves: the poor and elderly of New Orleans and the surrounding region, many of whom are Black. To be clear, I'm not saying they're suffering solely because of their race. It's more exact to say that they're suffering because they're poor, and due in part to the nation's pervasive history of racism along with a number of other factors, many of the nation's urban poor are Black.

Not surprisingly, people around the world, including myself, are now admirably donating their time and money in a very encouraging display of generosity to help the impoverished Katrina victims. This generosity toward the needy gives me hope that Americans (along with our foreign donors) have the heart and the inclination to help those that are less fortunate.

But we have to also realize that a lot of these hurricane victims weren't made destitute by the hurricane and the flood. Many of them were already destitute! And they're not just in the Gulf region. They're in cities all across this country. That's an even bigger tragedy than Katrina, an ongoing tragedy of poverty that has grown every year for the last four years despite the national economy's continued growth.

The most important lesson from this disaster is not that Bush doesn't care about Black people. It's that poverty is a very real and growing problem in America despite the fact that you never saw it on TV until the last 2 weeks. This problem continues to fester while Bush's priorities are clearly elsewhere. And the American people haven't even asked our leaders to articulate any clear strategy to deal with poverty. It barely even came up in the last election; neither Democrats nor Republicans talked about it because we as an electorate (including me!) didn't require them to. George Bush and the rest of Washington have governed with little regard for poor people. All too often we rely on capitalism to solve everything while preaching personal responsibility to the poor (which is truly important) without also understanding that the cycle of poverty is exceptionally difficult to break (i.e., most of the people who become poor adults were born into poor families). It is particularly difficult when you factor in the abysmal quality of schools in poor areas and other issues such as class-ism and racism. It's time that Americans hold our leaders accountable for coming up with creative solutions to address the issue of poverty in America and around the world. I'll make it a personal goal to do all that I can in that regard.

Peace & Love,
John

Synthesis

2005-08-17T02:57:00.000-04:00

Lanes
Originally uploaded by Oblivia.

Talking and bowling have two things in common. They should not be over-considered and go well with beer. Talking gets my juices flowing, as it were, and makes me realize that I need to be not afraid to engage myself in more conversation. (try “writing”, Oblivia). I’m inexorably attracted to people who give good voice - like a moth to the proverbial flame. I find lisps endearing though I’m not partial to any accent as a turn on. I tend to use accents and cadence to read ethnic and class cues (which can be the result of careful stage managing, of course) and often complicated by the content of speech. The trade of the con artist is to orchestrate the parts into a convincing, harmonious whole. The most vulgarian members of this guild are called “phonies” because you can hear the dissonance (or it might just be the faint hiss of your skepticism).

Vocabulary is the lipstick on your collar. The people who seduce you leave their traces in your choice of words be they Homer or Kafka or your first love. I have recently become more aware of what I like to call verbal burrs – hurtful habits of the mind that manifest on the tongue - and would love to find a way to purge them. I think I would include many types of speech in this category including (but not confined to) the language of prejudice, over-reliance on received knowledge, unacknowledged verbal jabs from others that creep their way into your speech and negative self-talk.

These things form underneath the radar and then - pow! - they hit someone who has done nothing to deserve it.

Hysterical Result of Online Collaboration

2005-08-09T17:05:00.000-04:00

Kevin Steele originally took a beautiful, well framed photo of his cats and posted it to flickr. Nothing unusual there - cats, dogs and food probably represent no less than 45% of flickr's contents. But through the obsessive-compulsive commenting of his contacts, it took on a life of its own and culminated in this:

I think its hilariously funny and I suspect its not over. I hope we have a new photoshop meme for the Catblogging Fridays set. Click above to read the entire comment thread, I mean *ahem*, creative process that ended in this gem. ("I Got Your Tongue" is my contribution!)

Thanks Kevin! FUN!!!

Update: This is the final result. Kevin calls it a "portfolio piece".

Why are you blushing?

2005-08-07T19:42:00.000-04:00

Blush
Originally uploaded by Oblivia.

Sydney, As Seen by Iso G

2005-08-06T02:52:00.000-04:00

Metropolitan Water, Sewage and Drainage Board, Sydney
Originally uploaded by Iso G.

Iso G is in Sydney right now flickr-ing up a storm. The photos are great G, keep 'em coming.

My Girl Likes to Party All the Time

2005-08-05T12:58:00.000-04:00

Bean Likes to Party
Originally uploaded by Oblivia.

This photo made me think of the long forgotten hit by one Eddie "AxelFBowfingerDr.DoolittleDonkey" Murphy.

Fantasia Round Up

2005-07-31T14:36:00.000-04:00

I concentrated on the Korean offerings as usual and walked away with the impression that this year's films were not as tight as in previous years and perhaps the state of the industry (or the festival) is reaching a plateau. (It could just be my selection, of course.)

Please Teach Me English
Korean romantic comedy is as strong as ever. The lead female is a well known cosmetics spokesmodel with the most dewiest skin ever but she pulls off being 'plain' because she's also a total kook. Goofy, fun flick that I probably would never have seen if it was in English because there are no talking animals in it.

Another Public Enemy
Riding on the success of Public Enemy from a couple of years ago, they stick the winning formula in terms of plot points but sap the edginess out of it. The original protagonist was a dirty cop; a man with significant moral failings who goes after a man with no morals at all. This time around, the main character is motivated out of white hot righteousness (his weakness is being cheap) to bring down the sociopath fat cat who has all of the advantages of social status and no social conscience. Competent performances all around which made it even more frustrating to watch them be let down by the story. I got a kick out of the fact that this and Please Teach Me English both had third act cameos by the same actor.

Silmido A true story of absurd cold war politics, Korean-style. As improbable as it sounds, a group of hardened criminals were given a stay of execution in exchange for submitting to being trained in secret to be a crack commando squad for the purpose of killing Kim Il-Sung. Dark melodrama and homosocial bonding; a reminder that even today, one of the few paths to legitimacy for anyone who has done any kind of time is through the military.

Some This film does for Seoul what Lost in Translation does for Tokyo. The city looks like itself without relying on too many of the Big Asian City cliches. The main drawback to this film is the insipid female lead (that some might actually consider to be characteristic of Asian film generally though I disagree) who seems to have been given ample opportunity to actually shape events but walks around in a general haze instead.

Survive Style 5+ Japanese film and just amazing. A new high watermark for set and costume design. The story has an Altman-esque interweaving plot but with an outright surreal edge. This woman pictured is murdered repeatedly by her husband but she keeps coming back from the grave. They're seemingly doomed to be in this destructive cycle forever until they finally learn to live with each other. The dark humour surprisingly gives way to a humanistic ending and escapes its own nihilism. Really impressive work, see it if you can. Weird title!

Ghost Talker's Daydream The best thing about this anime was my dishy viewing companion. 'Nuff said.

I'm Just Here to Help

2005-07-25T01:36:00.000-04:00

Hemispheres - the inflight magazine of United Airlines - sponsors an annual Faux Faulkner (write-alike contest) and this year's winner is Sam Apple with his spoof of the Bush Administration. Bush takes the place of "the idiot" in Faulkner's "The Sound and the Fury" - Condi, Rummy and Dick also make appearances. Hemispheres claims no political bias NOT publishing this year's winner in said magazine, according to a report by AP, claiming they decided to publish it on the web only to promote the web site and calls any allegation of censorship unfounded because they've made it available to "millions of people".

Now, I'm a blogger and not a journalist so I'm not going to track down any original sources or do any fact checking or any such due diligence; I'm going to suppose the above is all true.

And I'm not a web designer but I do know that their sites is one of those annoying ones that doesn't give specific urls to pages so you can bookmark them.

If you wanted use this draw attention to the web site, why would you bury it in your web site with no more fanfare than your obligatory masthead? Making it available to "millions on the web" and making it available to the [from their web site] "400,000 monthly copies...read by 1.5 million people on United flights all over the globe" who are "an international mix of English-speaking global business and recreational travelers who are among the world's most sophisticated, affluent, and educated professionals" is hardly the same thing. But I'm not a marketing professional either, so what would I know?

And WHY, oh WHY, is the link to the article broken on Hemispheres own web site at the time of publishing this post? I'M SO CONFUSED!

And since I'm happy to be here and just wanna help, click above for a link to the Faux Faulkner winner "The Administration and the Fury" by Sam Apple since Hemispheres web and marketing people seem unable to get it together to promote their site themselves. Enjoy!

Go for Baroque...

2005-07-20T22:06:00.000-04:00

...add an extraneous VOWEL to your name. How do you like "Obliivia"? Two eyes are better than one! Only on "Wheel of Fortune" do you need to buy vowels - they give them out for free in the real world! Plain old Alex is on my phone as "Alekx" - soooooo much cooler. Why the hell not? The French do it. Go on! Do it! Belt tightening, rationalisation is a thing of the past.

Dooooo iiiiiittt! HOT DAMN THIS FEELS GOOD!

Call Me "Dr. Mac" II: The Quickening

2005-07-20T19:40:00.000-04:00

Sunday afternoon, just after the previous post, I sat at a cafe with my fellow air con hogs and I once again had massive hard drive failure. I toyed with the idea of getting a new iBook altogether but I couldn't buy a whole new one without trying something to breath life into this faithful machine. And I thought that maybe I should save my pennies for a newer generation of iBook, say, next year. You know, um, since they announced they'll be using Intel chips and all that. (My charming naïveté made Boris laugh.)

So I went to MacClinic and they described the noise emanating from my hard drive as "The Click of Death". Michel had already copied all 20GB of my hard drive and one nervous afternoon later and Michel returning the contents, I'm back in business with a 40GB hard drive!

Click the link above to see Michel's shiny new photoblog. Again, hats off to you!

Call Me "Dr. Mac"

2005-07-17T15:22:00.000-04:00

Owing to his years of experience as a graphic designer and his wielding of the Mac as his weapon of choice, Michel has become an impressive Mac autodidact.

Last night, my computer crashed and when I tried to boot up again my 'puter gave me a grey screen and an icon with the Mac OS face alternating with a "?". (What is up with "?" signs popping up right now?) This is an "oh shit" moment. I've been working on a piece of writing that I hadn't backed up because I've been staring at it almost constantly for the last two weeks. In the back of my mind I thought, "I will only have to do the same tomorrow...and the day after....and the day after that." This is true of course and this is typical of how the procrastinator's mind works. And, now, as a result, it appeared that I was set to lose a solid 20 pages of writing. In lay parlance, that is the equivalent of forgetting your baby on the bus. I was so upset that I bought myself an ice cream.

I did what I usually do in these situations: panic. Then I called Michel who calmly and sympathetically said, "It seems that it can't seem to find your system folders. It looks like your hard drive is corrupted." [*heart stops*] When I brought over the computer, the first thing Michel did was try and boot up in "safe mode" which didn't take. In fact, it booted up in normal, functioning mode which made me look like an alarmist idiot though I didn't care. I was pleased to be given this chance to make a back up. Then Michel did all sorts of diagnostics, disk repairs and spoke some Mac jargon gibberish that even his lovely wife Jen looked puzzled at.

My new mantra is, "If it is worth producing, it is worth making a back up copy."

Thank you so much Michel. I am ever so grateful. I promise to back up faithfully from here on in.

USE YOUR INSIDE VOICE!!!

2005-07-14T18:43:00.000-04:00

I'm at the library where the air is dry and the temperature is a constant 21 degrees or so. Nothing like outside. I don't actually mind humidity - its wonderful for the skin but slows the cogs of my brain.

You can click the link to the library where I'm working today. Its a really nice acheivement for the 'nation' of Quebec. (You read that right.) Some wonderful inclusions are bank of computers designated for job seekers and sponsored by the relevant Quebec bureaucracy, ambient wireless (can't IM but its for the best) and lots of multimedia thingamajigs devoted to the children of course. However, when they decided to entice the children, they didn't take into consideration just how the whine of a four year old carries in an open plan with lots of concrete and glass. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against kids and don't begrudge their resource sucking. They're an economic necessity and I accept that.

Literacy is very important. So is inside voice, kids, so is inside voice.

I find myself quite short tempered lately. Closing the gap between knowing and feeling is generally a good thing but I wonder about how rational I'm being. Hmmmmmm.

KNOW THIS: The right to terrorise civilians...

2005-07-13T12:27:00.000-04:00

...is reserved by the government.

Do NOT click the link if you have difficulty with images of police bruality, blood and the sight of a guy who appears to not be able to get up thanks to the sharp end of a policeman's riot shield to the neck. It seems that some of these confrontations are the result of *union demonstrations*.

(via Hedonistica, of all places.)

Fantasia is back!

2005-07-11T12:43:00.000-04:00

Arahan
Originally uploaded by Oblivia.

"Arahan" is the first of a number of movies I will be seeing this year. This is a fun flick but don't take the description of "chi masters" from the Fantasia catalogue as "people blessed with extraordinary talents and supernatural skills" too seriously. Chi is a universal life energy that some are more able to access than others. The massage I was getting in Korea was from a chi master and trust me, this guy was no superman.

Much of the humour and spirit of this film comes from the way these chi masters are muddlers just like us guys; they're not having existential crises, they're mostly trying to figure out how to pay the gas bill...until this badass chi master shows up one day. The emphasis is away from instant transformation (part of the reason why I find superhero films so one-note) and toward dedication and understanding one's right motivation. How's that for a take home message!

The girl character, Eui-jin, is very cute for those who are interested in such things...but has the flattest ass I have ever witnessed on celluloid. She's the love interest and there is definitely some tension but there is no kiss, there is no love awakening. The villain in this film has that Ahn Jung-Hwan (soccer player) pretty boy look, pimped out. He looks like he could be a bass player with a Stone Temple Pilots soundalike. Judging by her reaction to the incredible but such a huge-downer-it-could-only-be-a-Korean-film "Musa the Warrior", Roomie T would like him, I'm sure.

Coming up: "Please Teach Me English" and "Another Public Enemy".

Who Would Do Such A Thing?

2005-07-10T21:33:00.000-04:00

The Writing on the Wall....er, Door.
Originally uploaded by Oblivia.

The first thing that came to mind when I saw this on my front door yesterday was the fact that I lied about being "in love" last Saturday. I don't usually lie about these things because a) you usually want to fill the void as quickly as possible and it tends to fill up with the truth, and b) a lie usually has to be followed by more lies and thus tends to be the path of most resistance. I was in avoidance mode and I was feeling unwell and slightly weak.

I think its crayon. What is this? Who? What? Why?

Placeholder (in lieu of a title)

2005-07-08T00:46:00.000-04:00

I wrote an email the other night; an emotionally draining, long and difficult email. I wrote to someone I care deeply about because I was having trouble concentrating on the task at hand. I thought it might help to say what was truly on my mind.

It wasn't one of my prettiest moments - I brought up issues we've danced around forever and I hope against hope that I was coherent. I cross my fingers that I didn't hurt or offend. I fear I haven't represented myself well and will later be asked to defend myself. Something possessed me to think that he ought to have this insight into my life; even if I show nothing but strength in vulnerability. It was a voice of sincerity, tinged with sadness that I dare not show - we are both incredibly stoic. It felt like a leap of faith, an act of abandon which made me wonder in turn, "when did the stakes get so high?".

I realised that such a moment - not in spite of but because of its flaws - would be of value to someone whom you are determined to have in your life. Those whose intimacies are worth securing even at the expense of your own false pride can only be nurtured through exposition and dialogue - not telepathy. They say that if you have the courage to state your wants and needs, you truly stand a chance at having them. This is a theory worth testing.

I hope my dad writes back soon.

I feel the heat...

2005-07-05T01:00:00.000-04:00

Break in the Weather
Originally uploaded by Oblivia.

...the heat between me and you.*

In chronological order:

I spent a public holiday at the Grand Bibliotheque Nationale (public library) and I'm proud of it.

I carpe diem-ed this pic and I'm proud of it too.

I got caught fluffing my hair like one of Charlie's Angels (guess which?) by roomie C and I'm not ashamed of it.

I realised that some grown men look like teens to me even when they're objectively Man Sized.

I can only joke with Setare about certain things including those things that cause us to publicly "sexy dance".

I vomited water, stomach acid and some citrus pulp (?) ... and I'm less proud of that but slightly fascinated as well.

I stopped pretending to read and just watched the pretty coloured lights change in the fountain in the park.

I lied and told a stranger that I was "in love" but when he asked me, "for how long" I stuttered and stammered like I was Katie Holmes.

I ate home made bulgogi and home made kimchi for sunday dinner. Wow!

I should write my PhD in self-sabotage, "Self-Sabotage: Personal Discourses of Extreme Negativity and the Denial of Satisfaction".

When Doves Cry - Prince.

Jews and Chinese Food

2005-06-26T23:00:00.000-04:00

Apparently, New York Jews love Chinese food. I've heard this for years and the link above tells you why it is so.

Very readable, very interesting.

Startling Phenomena

2005-06-19T12:29:00.001-04:00

1. Every time I mention the word "tumour", someone pipes up with "its not a too-mah" in the voice of Arnold "The Terminator" Schwarzenegger. I had no idea that so many people have seen Kindergarten Cop and that it had such cultural currency. I'm shocked, truly shocked.

2. Roomie and I stumbled upon the hit show of the season, Dancing with the Stars, or, as I like to call it, This is American Idol for Old People. It is so craptastic, you're gonna try and turn away but you can't, you just can't. The smart money is on John O'Hurley aka." J. Peterman" from Seinfeld to win.

3. Tom Cruise and his chosen Child Bride are officially freaking me out. Reportedly, his people were putting in calls to other starlets like Scarlett Johanssen, Jennifer Garner, Jessica Alba before settling on/for Katie Holmes. *shudder*

4. I saw previews for two films with Jessica Alba right before watching Angelina Jolie in "Mr and Mrs Smith". I am pretty sure JA was cloned from AJ's DNA.

Frozen Breakfast Food

2005-06-16T18:37:00.000-04:00

Michelle over at has concocted a truly marketable product. A popsicle, made vietnamese coffee style. I could have used that the past few days when it was sitting in front of my computer that was getting dangerously hot beneath my hands and wondering how much more it could take.

What next Michelle? White Russian Pudding? Seriously, having watched The Big Lebowski again just recently, I think it would make a wonderful breakfast food. You could market it as a hangover cure.

New Korean Socks

2005-06-15T07:44:00.000-04:00

"No Breakdowns Allowed"
Originally uploaded by Oblivia.

A gift from the Anninator who is currenly living in Busan, South Korea. After catching up for lunch, she gifts me these socks that we think say, "no breakdowns allowed".

Our BBQ Was a Blazing Success

2005-06-14T21:07:00.000-04:00

Its getting hot in here...
Originally uploaded by Oblivia.

Me on the phone to Nika: "I'm so excited, you don't understand. Having a bbq is like a nostalgic blast from the past. Its so exotic."

The bbq I was in charge of generated so much smoke that it wafted back into the house and set of the fire alarm. And because we live on top of a store, it sent a call to the fire department - whose response time was excellent - BOTH TIMES THE ALARM WENT OFF.

The second time, we were feeling terribly contrite. One of the firemen said, "You know, if you wanted us to come over, you could just called." To which I, for some reason, yelled at the top of my lungs in response, "I wish I had known - then I wouldn't have set the fire!!!"

Click the photo for the full photoset. Thanks to all for coming along!

Hehehheheheh

2005-06-14T01:45:00.000-04:00

irony lurks in newtown
Originally uploaded by deepwarren.

Unintentionally Funny Lyrics

2005-05-23T22:54:00.000-04:00

I have this song (please don't ask why) on my iTunes and on shuffle, it took me by surprise. Eye watering, knee slapping, stitch inducing laughter, kind of surprise. The lyrics to this Usher song called "Dot Com" are simply priceless.

Usher...sweetie, honey. You're gorgeous, okay? But using tech talk double entendre is just SAD. Your six pack doesn't allow you to get away with this any more than any ordinary Alpha Geek. Sorry hon.... Just stick to singing about how you plan to "put your hands in places [you've] never seen" in a place "where there ain't no-one to interrupt/ain't gotta rush". We all prefer you this way.

DOT COM - BY USHER

Ooh, I love the way you dirty type
I can take you home on escape
Ooh, I need your backspace in my life
Thank God you don't have a flat screen

Please, baby I got to see you
And I really wanna please you
So get on my laptop so I can download

Online, I love the way you log on
We can do it all night
I'll make you dot com

I wanted to link up with you, baby at first sight
With you I get to use my f keys
I can't wait to give you mega bytes
I got all the memory you'll need
Let my fingers do the talking

I only got through 2mins 29 sec. The rest of the song will remain a mystery to me and I'm alright with that.

Zlad the Impaler

2005-05-22T14:46:00.000-04:00

Zlad
Originally uploaded by Oblivia.

Sniffles and I were chatting last night about Australian men - how we're not "into" them - but there are so many examples that contradict this broad and ungenerous generalisation.

Case in point: Santo Cilauro. Smart and funny as hell even when he's dressed up as Zladko "Zlad" Vladcik - Molvania's pop sensation. Click the link - watch and listen to him "reprezent" his country at Eurovision 2004 and 2005.

And congrats to Greece for winning Eurovision 2005. Disclaimer: I only know this because I watch the BBC News for pointy heads, I do.

The Eye of the Beholder

2005-05-20T21:48:00.000-04:00

No, YOU'RE a geek
Originally uploaded by Oblivia.

Soylent says this is me because I'm a geek. For the record, I would like you to know that I don't wear those glasses anymore.

Organic Forms

2005-05-20T14:17:00.000-04:00

At Bahai House of Worship
Originally uploaded by gijigae.

Check out this Baha'i Temple in New Dehli that rocks, big time. Reminds me of the Sydney Opera House. Hopefully it sees more success as a place of worship than the Sydney Opera House has with its acoustics. The Opera House was allegedly inspired by orange slices, this one is inspired by the lotus flower.

Any resemblance this guy has to Oblivia is purely co-incidental.

Mr. Winkey

2005-05-17T21:56:00.000-04:00

Grrrrrr
Originally uploaded by Oblivia.

Some people know my problem with Mr. Winkey. One of them is Crouchingturbo, my sister, who teases me above. It's overused among some of the people around me so it feels like people use it to communicate something but it says nothing of value. Its like someone who writes in CAPS ALL THE TIME. IT SOUNDS LIKE THEY'RE SHOUTING. SO WHEN THEY WANT TO ACCENT SOMETHING AS LOUD, ITS DIFFICULT TO KNOW WHAT IT IS. Some call it "an acknowledgement", others call it "disingenuous". Mylittleeye surprised me , mid-conversation, recently when she dropped a pretty good line:

Oblivia: ...maybe if we were married...are you asking? :P
Mylittleeye: ;) (whatever the fuck that little dude is saying!)
Oblivia: hahahahahah! the winkey face?
Mylittleeye: yeah hahah
Oblivia: i hate the winkey face. ugh.
Mylittleeye: I KNOW. hahahah
Oblivia: its not just me!!!
Mylittleeye: i know, me too. little shit. looks like he just lobbed poo into your convertible or something.
Mylittleeye: hahahahahhaahah!

To Do List

2005-05-06T15:43:00.000-04:00

See you down there!!
Originally uploaded by schulze-.

....hang glide over Rio de Janeiro...

Buddha's Birthday

2005-05-06T14:14:00.000-04:00

Here are some really cool examples of traditional korean lanterns that are made for Buddha's Birthday celebrations in May. I have no first hand experience of these.

I wonder where I can buy some....

Papparazo

2005-05-05T22:35:00.000-04:00

Toronto
Originally uploaded by Oblivia.

This is the club around the corner from where I was staying in Kangnam, Seoul. Its not so much a nightclub as a "gentleman's club" - I don't know the specifics of what goes on inside and I don't really want to. All I know is that its not meant for me and the girls for a night out. My cousin said they have "uh-nee's" there (means "older sister) who entertain...whatever that means.

On my last night in Korea, we were walking back from noraebang with my relatives and I snapped this photo at around 2am.

As soon as the flash went off, a man bolted out of the club and into the street craning his neck up and down the street to find the photographer. He saw us and clearly didn't suspect this rag tag group. My cousin said it was because there had just been a change to the prostitution laws (mandatory sentencing, I think). He probably thought it was the flash of a paparazzo or a private investigator.

Heheheheheh. If only...

Why "Y" for Canadian Airport Codes?

2005-05-05T00:15:00.000-04:00

Judging from the state of this web page, no one really knows why all our airport codes start with Y. Montreal is YUL, Vancouver is YVR and Edmonton is YEG.

Chime in anytime, MD.

Sydney Nostalgic

2005-05-04T12:27:00.000-04:00

So...Claire sends me the link above when I'm already Sydney nostalgic. I think I can put it down to the weather. I've been immensely cheered by the double digit (daytime) temperatures and found myself wondering aloud if there is "a place I can live where its warm and sunny all year round?". Duh. I mean, really, Double Duh.

I'm getting that feeling that everything here is overrated, overhyped and overfamiliar. I get that way with Sydney too only you need to add overpriced to the list to really round it out. Maybe its just about being in a place where I can open the society pages and know who they are talking about (not personally, mind). And why did I ever have a problem with sunshine 320 days a year? Remind me. Since when did the weather matter to me at all? I used to be an All Terrain Vehicle. Now I feel like a...I dunno....something that doesn't drive when its shitty out. Aaaargh....Even my metaphors are going nowhere.

Where the fuck did I get so negative? Is it your fault? I'll bet it is!

Baby Names

2005-05-02T18:30:00.000-04:00

Seung-Hyeun
Originally uploaded by Oblivia.

My mom said once that she thought Korean babies really are the cutest. This has to be one of the most biased statements ever but I was pretty damn cute. Ha! Actually, I was FAT. Not ordinary chubby baby fat but huge. Michelin Man kind of proportions.

Lately, I have been going public with my baby names just because they've been kicking around in my brain for a few years. And going public with them means that it means that somewhere in my mind eye, I see a future - even if it is, in fact, not to be. A future that a wise-man-fortune-teller man my parents consulted said that I would have boys. And perhaps I always knew that because I never had anything but boy names...for twins.

The names aren't going over very well. My friends have been less than enthusiastic. People usually laugh first, and then scoff. Others prefer the "mock first, ridicule later" approach. One person recommended that I make baby names clear to any prospective Daddy before charting that course (may influence decision). Telling Setare and Atomic only caused us to riff on it coming up with gems like "Farfigneugen"* and "Pfeffernuss" for the girls.

So - deep breath - Titus and Leander. Ta da!

And what if I have a girl? I'm gonna call her Lexus. We're a Lexus family. When the time comes, I too will own a Lexus. Its in my DNA and I think I'm coming to a level of maturity and self acceptance where I'm alright with that.

This is my 'niece Seung-Hyeun' or 'second cousin Rachel'. I met her for the first time alongside our cousin AJ who made all the right "coochie-coo" noises which shocked me a bit because I think of him as a child. I changed his diaper and made him laugh when he pulled a sourpuss face to prevent him from crying. Now his little bro has a girlfriend and I am fully twice this kid's age.

Truthfully, I'm more comfortable with this in the abstract than in the messy reality.

*Farfigneugen is the perfect dish that involves Bugs Bunny wabbit, from Looney Tunes of course.

I'm so bloated...

2005-04-28T01:07:00.000-04:00

Keum Kang San
Originally uploaded by Oblivia.

...ate up a storm with my aunt and uncle at restaurant in Flushing, NY - hive of pan asian activity.

I need to lie down.

"Two Great Tastes"

2005-04-27T02:36:00.000-04:00

Yoga
Originally uploaded by tangentialism.

...was a comment on another photo of this exact same sign. Its not installation art as was my first guess, its a lower east side clothing label whose name captures some of the commodified sanctimony of some aspects of the yoga culture today. I have no idea what kind of clothes they make, by the way, and is wholly unrelated to the fact that I am currently in Lawg Island, New Yoik.

At my last yoga session I was preoccupied with the fact that I never blog about it. It has become an important form of respite for me, from myself. It is a level of interiority that doesn't lend itself well to words. As A Very Clever man once said to me, "there is nothing quite so dull as listening to people talk about their dreams." (Literal nighttime dreams, not 'aspirations'.) Same idea.

I don't practice yoga regularly at home as I would like to. Without the guidance of an instructor, facing an open mat is a lot like staring at a blank sheet of paper, pen poised in hand. The expectation can be crushing.

Have you ever taken an egg out of the fridge, cradled it in your hand and just looked at it really hard? Its sexless and sensuous, so completely without effort; solid and utterly fragile; the perfect compromise between form and function. Staring at the oeuf is just like staring down the oeuvre within you. Nothing you do can ever be quite as perfect as it already is at that moment. You can incubate it or you can break the shell and only then can you have a chick or you can eat breakfast. If you keep on staring at it, you will start to look at it askance because you're never quite sure of its shelf life.

A-muse Me

2005-04-24T18:02:00.000-04:00

The Only Bird with Two Right Wings
Originally uploaded by Oblivia.

I would like to say a few words about nudity in the world today. I, for one, am just appalled by it.

Are you aware that underneath their clothing, every single human is walking around completely NAKED?

Yes, and it's not just the people, although goodness knows that's bad enough. Animals too, even cute little doggies and pussycats can't be trusted. Underneath their fur they're absolutely NAKED!!

And it's not just the quadrupeds either! Birds, yes, even birds, underneath all their fine feathers, completely...

- Sam The Bald Eagle, The Muppet Show -

A furtive knock came at the door of the office and in walked a stranger who worked for an art gallery in the same building. He said we could have our photo taken by an artist by the name of John Oswald for inclusion in his upcoming show in May. He left us a photocopied sheet explaining the concept and the process. My remuneration would be in the form of digital copies of the photographs. He would take two identical shots save for clothes. In one, I would be clothed and in the other...naked.

I went up to investigate the studio and saw something close to the final result. Imagine a tableau of people of all races, sizes and shapes. They fade in and out and they fade from clothed to nekkid. There was nothing salacious about it. As far as photos go, I used to have a little rule of No Nudity. But in this case, my body was more an archetype - that looks more similar than different to other women, when naked. Then the artist came out and said hello. I gave him the same "I'm Just Looking" routine I give when shopping at the Gap. He implored me to take the opportunity while he wasn't busy and told me he would like to take a photo of me....because he liked my dip-dyed sweater.

Oftentimes, thinking about doing something is far more difficult than doing it. Once I started taking my kit off, it came off with the quickness. And once it was off, I didn't look down. I felt no particular shame. Signing the release took longer than the time it took to take two photos.

Hooray for John Oswald!

If you want to see what I'm talking about, go to the Musee Des Beaux Arts, in Montreal.

Strutting Your Stuff

2005-04-23T02:49:00.000-04:00

Who's A Pretty Boy?
Originally uploaded by Oblivia.

A phenomenal thing about Montreal is that the minute the weather is 10 degrees plus for more than 3 days in a row, people come out on the main drags to strut their stuff. Walking up Blvd. St. Laurent, I ran into this one preening by the sidewalk, Seeing and Being Seen. Get a load of what he's wearing! Totally overdone for daytime. I swear, he's gazing into the eyes of his own reflection. You're not Warren Beatty my friend! Get over yourself!

A prof from Melbourne whom I met in a bookstore was stunned at how the cafes were full in the mid-day, mid-week. Incredulously, he asked, "Don't people work here?" "No," I answered. "We are chronically indolent."

The weather means that people start dressing again and showing flesh. I miss flesh.

Paradoxes

2005-04-20T09:14:00.000-04:00

I'm still trying to figure out the writing/blogging relationship. William Gibson quit updating his blog last summer because he likened it to "trying to boil water with the lid off". Someone else put a similar idea to me in less colourful terms, "I've been putting off the hard writing by doing the easy writing." I don't know if he keeps a blog, but he was referring to the magazine articles and the book reviews that always get written over the books and the articles bound for peer review. Nothing quite comes to that roiling boil; ideas don't get teased out to their logical limits.

A blog ought to be a good place for simmering ideas for the stuff that really matters to you but it seems that few of the people I know who really need to write use it that way. I like to believe writing begets more writing because it is, at its base, a discipline or a craft over and above an art. Those guys at MIT who recently used a random jargon generator to create an abstract for a conference that got accepted and the Sokol Affair are just two examples of how writing in academia is about having all the right bits in all the right places.

Meanwhile, as Claire puts it, "your blog has got cobwebs." Its true. I've been incommunicative as well as just plain old non-communicado. I've been spending too much time alone...and, paradoxically, too much time chatting on line. Too much time with my own thoughts and too much time getting inside other people's heads. Perhaps its because I've been re-connecting with many old friends (the long standing, long suffering ones I mean) but there are still too many outstanding emails and phone calls.

On a lighter note...whist talking to roomie yesterday I busted out with the following gem: "Now, I know this sounds like a dispatch from the Department of Easy Answers but..." I'm glad I got to write that down somewhere...and that someone got to read it. I wonder if I read this particular line somewhere. Its got Graham Green written all over it don't you think?

I'm off to Long Island on Saturday to see my uncle. Blogging might again be in short supply or might be copious depending on what I find when I get there. I will try to have some laksa in Flushing, Queens. I will meet my new second cousin.

In her honour, I will finish my post about babies and my changing relationship to them. And this time, I mean human babies and not puppies.

What a Shame

2005-04-05T15:03:00.000-04:00

Naksan Temple
Originally uploaded by Oblivia.

Its not a film still, its a real temple on fire - Naksan Buddhist Temple in Korea. The Chosun Ilboreports, "Most of the wooden structures of the historic Naksan Temple including its Hall of the Great Veneration went up in flames Tuesday when a massive forest fire that broke out in Yangyang, Gangwon Province spread to the seaside. But three national treasures, including a seated lacquered statue of the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara that is Asiaâ€™s oldest, were spirited to safety in the templeâ€™s basement. No one was hurt." Awesome photo.

An Oldie But A Goodie

2005-03-29T23:57:00.000-05:00

Q: What did the lawyer say to the economist?
A: What are *you* in for?

Weapons of Blog Destruction

2005-03-26T21:41:00.000-05:00

via Kiseok's Blog

Truth in Blogging

2005-03-24T21:11:00.000-05:00

I took the name for this post from a short film called "Truth In Advertising". This is a must see short film in which the characters (all Canadian actors, btw) are all advertising industry archetypes and out of whose mouth's come the bold faced truth of what they mean told in the sing song everyday tone of what they say. Click the link above. Watch it and weep as it applies equally well to just about every other soulless corporate situation comedy of your choosing.

I am going to look for some "Truth In Blogging" now. Sometimes, I feel like I ought to have this disclaimer up here: This blog is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely co-incidental. I want my blog to be more *on point* with the stuff that goes across my desk from In Box to Out Tray. It was the outcome of a little conversation* I had below with a friend, in case you're interested in the thought process that began with a little crise de coeur a while back, you can find it below the break.

Part of what I wanted to achieve with this blog is to be able to get into the practice of writing on regular basis and keeping people up-to-date with the latest in my life. I've had a measure of success on both counts. The problem is that the part that gets left out is the part I actually need to talk to people about. I'm still going to have look-at-me posts, what-the-fuck-was-that? posts and awash-in-a-sea-of-sentiment posts because, deep down, I remain the girl who put a pic of her undies on the internet.

If you are interested in interrogating me on the serious stuff, I would encourage you to do so. I cannot promise that I will be able to respond in the fullness you or I might like but lets see how we do. If you care to skim over them, I certainly don't mind either. Its not that we're under new management so much as we've gone from buffet to a la carte.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

publicineffctual: i feel bad because i should be researching and writing something quite else [than the blog]. but in truth, i should really be using the blog for that purpose.
publicineffctual: *revelation*
publicineffctual: i really should be writing my thesis online, i should be airing my ideas online. like john battelle
publicineffctual: i've known this for a while now, but i'm airing it to you.
publicineffctual: then its [blogging] really doing me some good
publicineffctual: its not just another way for me to prance around and go "look at me!". "wheeeeeeeeee!". which is what i normally do.
publicineffctual: *huffs and puffs* [from ranting]
publicineffctual: daily show is on, you gotta go?

.........

publicineffctual: i always worried that i would start to 'live up to' my blog. and i can turn that around and 'live up to my blog' but in a positive way...for it to spur and help me refine my thoughts.

.........

publicineffctual: thing is that the core people that i write for, they WANT to know what i am thinking and i shield them from it.
oblivia's friend: like Paul Rand once said about the logo he designed for ABC (the US network)
oblivia's friend: he was asked, "will your logo live up to the network?"
oblivia's friend: and he replied, "I'm more worried about the network living up to my logo!"
publicineffctual: heheheheh
publicineffctual: good fucking answer
publicineffctual: and the answer is: no
publicineffctual: you know what i should blog this!!!!
publicineffctual: you are helping me see the light!

* conversation edited in the interests of readability, privacy, brevity and relevance.

Victim of His Own Success

2005-03-24T21:08:00.000-05:00

Text from the site, defectiveyeti.com (linked above):

Sorry

"defective yeti" and "Tricks of the Trade" got a lot of traffic this month after receiving mention on Metafilter, The Morning News, Kottke, Waxy, MSNBC, and a bunch of personal blogs and sites. I appreciate everyone who linked to them. Unfortunately, I have already exceeded my bandwidth usage limit for March and I simply don't have the funds to cover any additional expenditures right now. I long ago decided to forego any advertising on either site and I'm sticking to my guns, so I'm putting both out to pasture for a week.

defective yeti and Tricks of the Trade will return April 1st.

Cheers,
Matthew Baldwin

My Secret Shame I

2005-03-23T11:49:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday Crouchingturbo!

2005-03-23T10:21:00.000-05:00

Today marks the day many years ago now that I decided I wasn't a baby anymore because my mom just had one - a new one. She is the reason why I knew how to change a diaper at age 5 - a skill that I have probably since lost. Have a wonderful day lil Sis!

This Dog's Life

2005-03-22T00:53:00.000-05:00

"Come Hither"
Originally uploaded by Oblivia.

I should make note that I love dogs in the most appropriate way possible. This photo struck me for the cute and weird expression captured on this dog. Kind of like that photo of you lying on your stomach on a lambskin rug at the age of 9 months. Really. No, really really.

Music or Madeleine?

2005-03-18T02:05:00.000-05:00

I can chew gum and walk no problem but I can't listen to music and think/write effectively at the same time. Rather, I can't listen to music with narrative - anything with a verse-chorus-verse-chorus-bridge-chorus structure. No can do when I'm trying to write. I think I have too much excess noise in my head as it stands so I can only listen to classical or ambient. I have always been this way and have tried to program myself otherwise because I am a natural multi-tasker. I have been known to drive, apply mascara and eat at the same time. And to answer the obvious question to arise out of that, "I'm still here, ain't i?"

I listen to iTunes radio sometimes for streaming ambient stations and was reminded of a piece of music I have wanted to hear for a long time. It brought on a whole madeleine moment that I'm about to share.

Remember KLF? You might remember them from such hits as "3AM Eternal", "What Time Is Love" and that song with Tammy Wynette singing the lyrics "...they're justfied and they're ancient/and they drive an ice-cream van" (at least, thats what I remember hearing so I'm sticking to it.) Like TISM below, they were also in it to fuck with the music industry. But they were also very accomplished in their own right and produced a gorgeous album simply called "Chill Out."

A decidedly spare three minute track warmed my heart because:
1. I did a lot of reading on pop music scholarship way back in the day where I read all about KLF.
2. It was one of the last mix tapes anyone gave me and it was just before departing for Montreal, 1996.
3. The poppy KLF shit I used to dance to at the Exchange Hotel on Oxford Street in Sydney when I first got this notion of a "night club". (Did they really serve orange/vodka made with FANTA as a mixer?) The entire place been renovated and changed up and the last time I went there, it was full of nothing but gay men wearing little more than undies, shoes, shaved chests and sweat.

In one fell swoop I was transported back to times, places and a mindsets where I was somehow more myself.

Happy Birthday Cow!

2005-03-16T10:41:00.000-05:00

click link above for a little shot of "info-aesthetics" on this auspicious occasion

"Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me"

2005-03-15T11:46:00.000-05:00

bunny
Originally uploaded by Oblivia.

Now that I have your attention...This is not so much a statement of fact (though I'm toying with the possibility that it might be empirically true) as much as the name of a new song by TISM - a band I was into in my later highschool years. TISM (This Is Serious Mum) are a kind of dada-esque project of a bunch of musicians from Melbourne. To summarise quickly, their project is to simply fuck with the industry itself. For instance, the album that brought them into the mainstream was a "techno" album in the mid-nineties that was hugely popular and self-consciously crappy. I mean, it was just an unlistenable mash of techno cliches.

No one really knows for certain who they are (supposedly) and when they performed, they used to wear all black attire including their balaclavas. Some say the band is made up of prominent musicians from prominent Australian indie bands. Some say they were all went to art school together. I'm content to keep the mystery alive really.

They conduct interviews in their performance gear and one interview with them from an alternative weekly that springs to mind was when they granted an interview to a journalist but only under the condition they blindfold him and take him to an undisclosed location for the interview...which turned out to be a meat locker.

I saw them perform live once around '92 and they were awesome. My favourite moment was when they got the whole crowd to wave their hands in the air in unison then started to yell things like, "Kill all Jews! Kill all Jews! Get a haircut! Get a haircut! Kill your mom! Kill your mom!"...and we all kept on smiling and waving....

A song of theirs that has been running through my head of late is, "I'm Interested in Apathy":

I know who killed Marilyn Monroe
I can prove Einstein's theory wrong
But that's not what motivates me
I'm interested in...apathy
A-pa-thy, A-pa-thy, A-pa-thy
A-pa-thy, A-pa-thy, A-pa-thy

Click on the link above to hear the lament of this gorgeous bunny.

"What's In My Bag?" you ask?

2005-03-12T16:56:00.000-05:00

whatsinmybag?
Originally uploaded by Oblivia.

I know you didn't but this is a question a bunch of people on flickr are asking of themselves, dropping everything and taking an stock of what they choose to haul around with them everyday. Most of us are like are like snails with little microcosms of our homes on our backs. I came across this having just returned from the gym so it is skewed thus.

It reminds me of that time that Grant McCracken, an Anthropologist/fellow of my department/newlywed blogged about the anthropological uses of blogging. And to demonstrate what he meant, he blogged his fridge. That man makes me laugh.

The social scientist in me had to do this sincerely for the data collection possibilities (though not everyone does). The artist in me had to show that there IS order to my chaos. And the exhibitionist in me just wanted to put a pic of my panties on the internet. Click and the photo for a full accounting of "whatsinmybag."

Got My Hair Cut

2005-03-06T11:16:00.000-05:00

What a tease!
Originally uploaded by Oblivia.

I got a hair cut for the first time since this post. I wanted a change. Sarah-Jane was trying to talk me out of getting a fringe but eventually, I asked her to do it. And even she was pleased with the results.

Yes, she's teasing my hair. nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah!

Schadenfreude

2005-03-04T21:02:00.000-05:00

If you speak another language, you know there are words in other languages that have no equal in english. A lot of those words enter the english languge for that very reason and I thinkSchaedenfreude is one of the very best. If it were a gift, I would want it for my birthday.

It roughly means "to take pleasure in another's misfortune". For a fine illustration of this curious emotion in action, click on the link above.

Cultural Flotsam

2005-03-04T10:04:00.000-05:00

First boingboing, then modernpooch, then the world!!!! Mahahahhhahahhaha!!!

Blog for Rent/Lease

2005-03-01T17:02:00.000-05:00

Only slightly used, nice pink colour for rent or lease. Very comfortable, scene of happy times but recently neglected. Flickr zeitgeist customisation included! Warm in winter, cool in summer. Owner in dire expressive straits.

For Cow

2005-02-19T10:59:00.000-05:00

The Cow Goes "Meuh!"
Originally uploaded by Oblivia.

There is a little cafe on around the corner from my place, on Rachel (Ra-shell as we say in French) called "L'entracte" (intermission). It was a tiny little hole in the wall in a quiet side street - the kind of place that could have been my next little find. A corner of the world that one day, might end up in a novel or something.

But alas, its closed. But look what is coming in its place!

This Is What Love Looks Like

2005-02-18T11:11:00.000-05:00

Anthony as a cupake
Originally uploaded by michelle1975.

And love tastes like "chocolate with vanilla butter cream".

This delicious creation is by Michelle for Anthony for St. Valentine's Day. Just gorgeous, Michelle, well done. And it looks just like him!

Put "Jesus" in the place of "Jimmy"

2005-02-14T01:45:00.000-05:00

V-Day
Originally uploaded by Oblivia.

Make love, not war.

My Kind of Television

2005-02-13T22:28:00.000-05:00

Home Remedy

2005-02-12T01:50:00.000-05:00

boo boo
Originally uploaded by Oblivia.

Personally, I'm glad my pimples roughly tied to PMS because if I'm going to be a raging hormonal animal, I think it best to look like one too so people have fair warning.

I have reasonably well-behaved skin but I'm still prone to blemishes, especially on the forehead and chin. You know the ones - the cystic variety. The kind that throb. The kind that look as though the frontal lobe of your brain is trying to escape your skull though your face. The kind that make you think of grisly scenes from Alien or The Thing where the parasitic extraterrestrial bursts forth from the human it used as a dorm room. The kind that make you engage in bathroom surgery.

Mentioning my plight to Xi, she directed me to a site that offered me a way to ease that blemish and I in turn, offer it to you, dear reader.

For this home remedy, you need the following:
- band aids (the kind with sticky stuff all around the center bandage)
- nutmeg
- milk
- small bowl

1. Put a tiny drizzle of milk in the bottom of a small bowl.
2. Grate nutmeg really fine and mix it in batches with the milk. Watch your fingers.
3. Combine until you get something akin to a chunky brown toothpaste.
4. Take some in your fingers and dob on the affected area. Keep the area quite small so you can fit the bandaid over it.
5. Stick the bandaid on top and seal it in.

It tingles at first and the smell is fairly pleasant. I'm happy to report the inflammation has subsided significantly in the last 24 hours. The only other real solution to this kind of a problem is a dermatologist with a needle full of cortisone so, for now, this will have to do.

Of course, it makes sense to do this overnight but if you're as dedicated to your art as I am, you will go to work like this. The only problem is that people like Soylent are going to ask you what you "did to your face". Granted, he was probably waiting for me to answer "sledding" or something innocent like that. Don't repeat the mistake that I made and tell him the truth. Nay, have a quick, well practiced lie handy. Here are a few suggestions (haven't i just thought of everything?):

1. I just had liposuction. (Good for cheek or chin)
2. I've been recruited as one of Nelly's dancers (esp. good for cheek)
3. Carpetburn (smile naughtily)
4. What? What band aid?.......?...........Are you alright?

Happy New Year

2005-02-09T19:46:00.000-05:00

Objects in the mirror may be closer than they appear
Originally uploaded by Oblivia.

I have done absolutely nothing noteworthy today. I ate leftover pasta for lunch. I am still wearing the clothes I slept in. I have not left the house save for hauling the recycling bin to the curb. I haven't even showered. The only unmediated human contact I've had was with Roomie, F.

And, in spite of all the evidence that would speak to the contrary, I've had a really good day. Better, brighter than the overcast weather should really allow. Not euphoric or anything, but just the kind of day where the objects in the mirror are not closer than they appear.

The Alpha Male I

2005-02-08T23:55:00.000-05:00

Three things prompted this post:
1. Going regularly to the gym, specifically, the weight room.
2. Walking down Boulevard St. Laurent, and overhearing a girl say to her friend, "...the problem is that I'm attracted to arrogant men...."
3. "In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women." -- Scarface

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Back around 2000 or so, Claire and I took up salsa lessons at this club on a Sunday night. Lessons were on an ad hoc basis - whoever showed up, showed up. They would line us up - boys on one side, girls on the other - and take us through the moves. Gratefully, they forced us to change partners at regular intervals to 'spread the wealth' a.k.a 'spreading the dearth of dancing talent'. Most of the men had a tragic sense of rhythm and co-ordination. When the lessons were over and it turned into a regular club night, both of us were unconsciously interested in "trading up".

As the male is expected to lead, it is important to find a man who can take charge of the situation in order to take flight into salsa symbiosis. We would watch keenly as others danced. Mentally (and out loud, as I remember it) we made "hot/not" lists. We quickly realised that if we were to get any better at salsa, there was some serious 'social climbing' involved. We would go off and dance with various partners and come back together to exchange notes on how we were handled, how his moves were, how he smelled. And yes, I'm still talking about salsa.

One particular night, a group of salsa kings and queens turned up and showed us ALL how it was done. They were causing a righteous spectacle in a group form of salsa called rueda (literally translates into "wheel") where couples dance in a circle and the female is passed from partner to partner. There is one male who directs the dancing and all others fall into place - we called him The Alpha Male.

Claire and I watched in awe of this group and especially The Alpha Male. He wasn't ugly but wasn't really what I would qualify as a looker, either. We agreed that neither of us would proffer a second glance in his general direction on the street. Claire also fairly towered over him. However, that night, he was a God among men. Either of us would have fairly melted into his arms if he asked us to dance*. The other would have stormed out in a jealous huff. Just kidding!

Of course, he was out of our league anyway and we didn't seriously harbour any hope of getting anywhere near him.

* This is, perhaps, the only time we have ever lusted after the same man.

Le Meeeeeeeeuw!

2005-02-08T01:15:00.000-05:00

103-0322_IMG
Originally uploaded by mylittleeye.

Everyone knows I like animals better than people. And I like dogs more than most animals. And she also happens to be one of my favorite animals too. And I like otters and seals next best because they're like dogs with fins. Actually, I don't like seals that much. They smell pretty bad.

Speaking of which
.. (congratulate me on the segway later), this never stopped me from admiring Pepe Le Pew and his randy ways and his adorable little quiff. Can you believe they only made three cartoons with his character?

I was watching him sexually harasss that same damn cat on Teletoon, a local french cartoon station. Pepe was dubbed in French and it took me a minute to realise the irony of what was going on before me. Voice-In-Head goes, "Now, wait....a....gosh...darn....minute." If this guy is supposed to be French but speaks English with a French accent, how does he sound when he's actually speaking French? A Spanish accent of course!

Heh heh heh...

TURN IT UP TO 11!

2005-02-02T13:40:00.000-05:00

Click on the link for the Korean Friendship Association (KFA) hymn, "Song of National Defence". Feel free to sing along - this version has visuals, a translation as well as the bouncing ball over the words so you can sing along.

CLICK IT. You'll love it, its stunning.

News Flash: American Culture Sinks to NEW NEW Low; World Just Rolls Eyes

2005-02-01T15:09:00.000-05:00

Click on the link above and you will hear a radio DJ from Power 99 in Philedelphia make a prank call to a call center in India and proceed to call the poor woman a "bitch" and a "rat eater" and says he will "come out there and choke the eff out of you".

If there is an argument to be made against the trend of outsourcing, then make it. Here man, this one's free, the next one will cost ya: Thanks to outsourcing, those fucking immigrants don't even have to leave their homes to steal our jobs. See? It really IS that easy!

If you want to do it and make it funny go to the seat of the decision making power - policy makers, CEOs or whatever. Holding people accountable for their actions and watching them squirm is funny. Michael Moore taught me that.

Going after people who are in just as, if not more, precarious a position than you says that you, a) have a very feeble grasp of the issue, and b) are a scum sucking low-life with no compassion.

Doing this on your own time makes you a garden variety asshole. Doing this on the air makes you negligent in your professional duties as well as an asshole. People don't get fired for being an asshole though. I hope he loses his job, his credibility and has to take up a job in a call center somewhere to see what its like in this job he so covets. Horrible abuse of the privilege of being on the air.

Via Angry Asian Man Via Turbanhead

Doggy Poo Existentialism

2005-01-30T19:33:00.000-05:00

"It's a complicated world. Everything has a purpose. But what would I be good for? After all, I am just a doggy poo."

I'm not making this "shit" up. Doggy Poo is a stop motion animation of a Korean children's story book written in the sixties by author Jung-Saeng Kwon.

Watch the teaser here and the promotional trailer for the DVD here.

Sometimes, I feel like a doggy poo too.

He's An Asshole

2005-01-30T16:20:00.000-05:00

Animal Rights.
Originally uploaded by justinaugust.

Thanks to justinaugust for the photo

True or False?

2005-01-27T14:22:00.000-05:00

Self-Portrait
Originally uploaded by Oblivia.

I did this to myself by scrubbing too hard in the shower.

UG BOOTS / Happy Australia Day

2005-01-26T22:32:00.000-05:00

The Hairy Shall Inherit the Ug
Originally uploaded by Oblivia.

On this auspicous occasion known as Australia Day, I would like to express how very proud I am of what must now be known as our National Footwear - the UG BOOT. Now, when we travel overseas we are going to have to explain this one away too alongside Paul Hogan, PM John Howard and Steve Irwin. Do people realise "ug" is short for "ugly"?!

Yes, this seasons' must-have-take-the-world-by-storm is actually the secret shame of many of an Aussie who will absolutely not(!) be seen wearing them outside the corridor between the kitchen, bath and bedroom because they are as ugly as they are FUGLY! Please tell me fashion victim types in Australia are not wearing them out, are they?

They are warm, admittedly, and quite soft but utterly lacking...in...in....style. When Marx spoke of the "lumpen" proletariat, surely he pictured them in ug boots. They are and remain in my heart the preserve of the bogan (a Victorian term I prefer to the New South Walesianism Westie). The following is from Save the Bogan:

Both males and females have been known to cover their lower hind-limbs with furry pouches called "ug-boots." While the wild population of Bogans is dwindling, it is still possible to view them in their natural environment. The species has been known to congregate around regional "shopping malls", where family units often come to settle domestic issues using high-pitched wailing sounds.

What do you expect from a trend spear-headed by Pamela Anderson?

News Flash: American Culture Sinks to New Low; World Not Surprised

2005-01-25T13:23:00.000-05:00

The now infamous tsunami that killed nearly 250,000 people was the subject of a parody of "We are the World" on Hot 97, a Hip Hop radio station in NY. The target of the humour is people's suffering, the language is school yard received racism:

There was a time, when the sun was shining bright
So I went down to the beach to catch me a tan
Then the next thing I knew, a wave 20 feet high
Came and washed your whole country away

And all at once, you can hear the screaming chinks
And no one was saved from the wave
There were Africans drowning, little Chinamen swept away
You can hear God laughing, 'Swim you bitches swim.'

[Chorus]
So now you're screwed, it's the tsunami,
You better run and kiss your ass away, go find your mommy
I just saw her float by, a tree went through her head
And now your children will be sold to child slavery

I would like to believe that ANY subject can be satirized but it must be politicised. Is that too much to ask? From these people, I suspect it is.

Compare and contrast....in Australia, Triple J's morning hosts Jason Whalley and Lindsay McDougall also wrote a parody song entitled "Tsuna-me". I've had trouble finding the complete lyrics but here's a snippet:

Well we killed them in cricket, turned back their refugees.
But now the time is right to offer help...
Linking arms together, sing aloud in harmony
So we can feel good about ourselves.

From what I've gleaned they take issue with the fact that it takes a tragedy of this proportion for people to pay any kind of attention at all and in the ensuing media hubub, they have criticised (rightly, I believe) the self-interested nature of Australia's aid efforts. You can read a really good analysis of the situation here.

Jason and Lindsay* should be congratulated for understanding what rights and responsibilities come with being on air.

Multimedia Bonus!: Click here to hear how the Korean-American entertainment reporter and fixture of the offending program is treated on air when she objects to the song, followed by the tsunami song. She's told that she' always "tries to make herself 'seperate'" and that she "thinks she's superior because she's asian." Um. No, its because she's smarter than you.

Thanks to Angry Asian Man for the lyrics, the updates and the link to the audio.

* Jason and Lindsay both are former members of an Australian band called Frenzal Rhomb. Jason was in my film studies class back at Sydney University - he smelled incredibly bad.

UPDATE: This is the apology from Hot 97:

OFFICIAL STATEMENT ON AIRING OF TSUNAMI PARODY SONG

HOT97 regrets the airing of material that made light of a serious and tragic event. We apologize to our listeners and anyone who was offended.

Both HOT97's program director and Miss Jones issued on-air apologies on Monday stating that the material was offensive and should not have been aired.

HOT97 takes pride in its community involvement and in the last few weeks has joined with broadcasters nationwide to raise money for victims of the Tsunami. Our relief effort will result in a substantial cash donation.

I read somewhere that the show's personalities are going to donate a week's pay each. The best retort can be found in Tsunami Response, a recording by Jin, a respected Asian-American MC. It goes a little something like this:

That bullshit statement
Has got to be
The world's most half-assed apology
Thousands are still getting discovered each day
How dare you compare a life
With a week's pay.

Regarding Cigarette Brand Preference...

2005-01-24T21:00:00.000-05:00

Photo Courtesy of Sniffles
Originally uploaded by Oblivia.

Smoking is a habit, nicotine the addiction. I would define cigarettes loosely to be a commodity if you look at them outside of a pack. Gather a number of domestically produced cigarettes without their pack and they all look roughly the same, smell roughly the same and when smoked, taste roughly the same. Could I distinguish one from another in a blind test? With the exception of a Marlboro or a Gauloise perhaps, probably not. I attribute this in part to a kind of willful ignorance on par with my stupiditude regarding wine. More sensitive conoisseurs might disagree.

I would like to hear from you what you believe to drive brand preference in cigarettes. Price drove my preference for Gauloises in the late nineties because they were pretty much the cheapest you could get - $3.85 per pack! (Cue: Those were the days, my friend, we thought they'd never end...

Distribution to my local pushers also drove my preference. B & H was my routine buy. They're available in King Size or Regular in denominations of 20 or 25 in any depanneur *.

But these Davidoffs were my favourite all-time brand of cigarettes. I discovered them in Havana, Cuba, of all places at the "dollar store". This store is nothing like the cheapo-peddling dollar stores in Montreal but rather is where almost anything could be bought in this tightly controlled market for US dollars. Naturally, it was located in the embassy district.

More recently, I would only get them duty free because to get them domestically might just be impossible (though I have to admit I never tried) and inconvenient to my habit, driven more by need than brand preference.

Just look at that elegant box. I love the font of the brand and the beveled edges. I love the pearly cardboard. The interior foil is white and shiny gold reminiscent of a chocolate box. I fairly screams luxury on every count. And they're not bad smokes either.

But for quotiden smokes, what drives preference? Is it aesthetic? A hang over from long gone advertising like the Marlboro Man or the "You've Come a Long Way, Baby" of Virginia Slims. Joe Camel always looked fun to hang out with admittedly...

Smoking update: successful in NOT smoking; lungs purging daily; cardio fitness improving; patch is keeping me awake and sometimes making me feel queasy...gonna go lie down for a bit.

* Quebecois word for "convenience store".

Un-Real Estate

2005-01-24T01:45:00.000-05:00

cube houses
Originally uploaded by urbandiscount.

I caught just a little of the A Charlie Brown Christmas last year. The slew of TV specials tend not to induce the gag reflex so much because they're often beautifully animated like the Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer in stop motion or the touchingZiggy's Gift. They really evoke all that was good and right about childhood.

But back to Charlie Brown. As usual, Charlie is a bit blue (could he just be Ziggy as a child?) wondering, "What is Christmas really about anyway?" as all his peers display the materialistic instincts appropriate to the season. He consults Lucy in her capacity as a psychiatrist (The Doctor is Way Out) and the scene goes something like this:

Lucy: I know what you mean. Every year I get something I don't really want like new pillows or toys.
Charlie: What do you really want?

Just as I'm thinking, "I am Lucy. Lucy is me. She is me in a blue dress. Yes.", she provides the kicker:

Lucy: Real estate.

I am Lucy. Lucy is me. And this is the real estate I want. Its in Rotterdam and I have it on good authority that there are two currently for sale. Click link above for pics of the interior. Its sooooooo me...and only asking €186 000! (242 552 USD; 296 892CAD; 315 359AUD)

A dank je to Minister of Enlightenment for the use of the photo!

Cry Me an iRiver

2005-01-18T06:10:00.000-05:00

Jenna Jameson
Originally uploaded by Oblivia.

Chosun Ilbo reports that Korean OEM manufacturer reigncom (manufacturer of iriver) has enlisted adult entertainment star Jenna Jameson to snare the testosterone set.

Pornography can be an effective fuel in the uptake and advance of new technology (still photography, VCR, the Interweb) and can represent the shortest path to profitablity. This is no news. I find it interesting that they make the connection so explicit with their Personal Media Player (PMP) ads. Go on - use it for porn. We know you're going to anyway.

But the ad is a bit icky. The portability of the PMP has allowed this loser the freedom to watch and be with the rest of the world when really he should be doing his biz in his mom's closet.

And is that a look of utter disdain on Jenna's face? At least they got that part right.

YULblog* is the New Black

2005-01-18T03:52:00.000-05:00

Setare and I met some of the YULbloggers at the Saturn Chamber Saturday night. Ooooooo-weeeeee! Its nice when these things that are hastily arranged come together well. The place was jam packed unlike the last few times we've been there on accounta the New Year and back to school enthusiasm, I reckon.

I got there early, took my place at the bar and ordered a drink. A good analogy for my detoxing state-of-mind comes from that scene in Being John Malkovitch when JM goes into his own head and his whole existence becomes one long muttering of "malkovitch, malkovitch". For me, it was all "cigarette, cigarette" - people lighting up, sucking back that sweet, rich tobacco smoke were blown up larger than life. I popped a nicorette.

Thing about going out with bloggers is that you're going to read about it whether you care to or not. Thankfully, I did nothing to shame myself but I'm sure the time will come when some deep disgrace will be richly documented. They're a sensitive bunch and will likely put the most positive spin possible on my eventual arrest for obscene drunkeness, lewd acts and possible nudity.

Splurge has an account of Saturday night and some photos. So does Nika. And, as I was putting the final touches on this post, Boris sees fit to make mention of it too...from Tokyo. (No trackback?)

Setare patiently indulged my self-involvement as I updated her on the minutiae of my interpersonal and intrapersonal travails. I do remember interrupting my own monologue with, "Why does every night turn into Eighties Night around here?" a couple of times. She's sporting a kickin' tan fresh off the beaches of Hawai'i. We did a few shots. At one point, Nika and I grabbed each other and started dancing to Le Tigre asking the question which vexes us all, "Who put the bomp in the bomp-ba-bomp-ba-bomp?" And, who, for that matter, "put the rama in the rama-lama-ding-dong?" This and Drop the Pressure was my only dancing but when I did, the hair went flying I tells ya.

We also took lots and lots of photos. I even take one where my nose looks good. Unforunately, for me to look like that to the viewing public, my face has to be viewed from the perspective of a third grader. No wonder children like me.

I got photographic evidence of Patrick's X-Ray Vision abilities. We're on to you buddy - you get away with nothing from now on.

Setare and I parted ways with the bloggers who went for pizza. We headed homeward on St. Laurent Boulevard and spotted T'cha at Blizzarts (whom I worked for on NYE). We made Peter unlock the doors for us so that we could demand to be served after hours. They didn't. For some reason, T'cha, Setare and I started singing "New York, New York" in unison in some of the flattest, most bellowingest tones imaginable. Others join in. Peter, the owner, just smiled his get-the-fuck-out-of my-bar-its-quittin-time smile. We leave.

It seemed a shame to waste the momentum we had gathered so the three of us went to a loft party. Here is a way to describe the vibe as soon as we walked in: you know how they say sharks can smell a single drop of blood from a mile away? We were that fresh drop of blood. It was palpable. We had walked into a parallel universe to the one we just came from. The cast of characters were all the same except that this was a Franco Montreal scene that moves in different, occasionally intersecting, orbit. It takes connectors like Brennan to make it happen.

AJ and I were discussing Patrick's post this afternoon and wondering why my photos don't show up on Technorati although they're on flickr. I don't understand it, AJ understands a little more than I do. He thinks it'll work if I just put this yulblog link in. Hmmm. Let's see.

Oops. Its nearly 4am. I forgot to take off my nicotine patch. I might be awake until Thursday.

* FYI: YULblog is a group of Montreal bloggers who meet monthly for reasons of idle chatter and inebriation. (YUL is the airport code of Montreal.) When I first heard this utterance YULblog, I thought it was "YULE blog" and this is what sprang to mind. I have since signed up as a member and summarily recruited two others. Now I'm just waiting on Patrickto make it happen. (no pressure)

Ambivalence? Maybe...

2005-01-13T03:37:00.000-05:00

Misery Loves...A New Accessory
Originally uploaded by Oblivia.

Every decision I make, every day, accumulates into a notion of how I want to live my life. But my decisions are also often marked by a strong ambivalence - an ambivalence that is situated on a continuum of the important and the not-so-important - but underneath it is the desire to do something right - maybe even perfect.

Organic versus ordinary vegetables? Organic! FOX or CBC? CBC! These simple questions represent 'ideal' scenarios. I *try* but I'm human and I make less-than-optimal decisions that are driven by sometimes practical constraints. Organic stuff is expensive and supply can be unreliable. It doesn't really matter whether I watch The Simpsons on FOX or CBC.

Sometimes I am asked to take a certain course of action because that is the decision that I made...and having made that decision calls for a certain course of action. The ambivalence of not making this decision because of the possibility of failure or even being just plain wrong is fucking torture.

A case in point is smoking. I started at an age when I should already have known better. The reasons why I started and why I continued are banal in the extreme and are not worth recounting. The list is as long as church is boring.

I hate myself for doing things I know are wrong which only makes things worse and makes me less able to act. They say you only regret the things you do, not the things you don't do. I don't have a lot of regrets save for those occasions where I maintained a committment to something that I didn't continue to believe in and couldn't find it in me to draw the line and just stop. This is the point at which I am being driven by circumstance. Rather, circumstance is driving...no... riding me...like a pony at a county fair. The ambivalence is really the highest form of disregard. With it, I'm caught in a cycle of self-abuse and self-loathing.

I've always known I didn't see myself a smoker in perpetuity. There is the threat of disease which looms but doesn't loom large since I'm somewhat resigned to the idea that living seems to gives you cancer. In past attempts to quit, I've made appeals to my Higher Vanity hoping the chant of smoking is soooo bad for your skin; smoking gives you wrinkles around your lips - are you ready to watch your lipstick feather? might be enough to sway me. (OK, OK. It's funnier when I say it.) And, to top it all off, some of my best friends are smokers! It doesn't make one iota of difference to my opinion of them the way that, say, discovering they believe what Bush is doing in Iraq is morally justified might. The mere facts of the situation are just not enough. There was always something more in the mix to this habit.

And so, around midnight on Monday, I stubbed out my last cigarette and I went to bed early.

I've been quiet about it, yes. I suspect MD read through my actions - he has a habit of doing that - and saw that my recent gym efforts have been to institute a different habit before quitting the other nefarious (only marginally more smelly) habit. I haven't done anything social since that would otherwise call for a smoke like going to a bar or cafe. You will witness me bounce off the walls for craving a cigarette even as nicotine courses through my body by osmosis (gum/patch).

I am going to try NOT to be blog obsessed with this, I promise. I will ask for your indulgence in advance though when I need to vent. And if you see me start a nic fit in front of you, please, just take my hand and squeeze it for a second. I will likely register a look of shock for being so transparent and laugh. I so need to laugh.

I'm going to try this quitting thing again and you may watch me fail. But I'm going to try. The process of turning this ship around is going to be more like an ocean liner than a sailboat. This may take a little while.

**The image you see above is actually an 'imitation' Louis Vuitton cigarette pack holder I bought at a market in Seoul. What you see poking out is nicotine gum. If I have to look like a freak, I gotta be super-freaky.

Sleep eludes me, once again.

2005-01-08T05:04:00.000-05:00

The mailbox had a welcome surprise for me this morning - the first issue of a subscription Georgina gifted me of Granta containing a most hilarious essay by Jim Lewis called "Notes From the Land of Nod".

Here are a few quotes I would like to share with you this morning at 4:11am as I post from my bed.

On Nod:
"The Bible says that [Cain] 'went out of the presence of the Lord, and dwelt in the land of Nod, on the east of Eden'.
In Hebrew, the word nod means 'wandering', which is apt to the occasion, and while Jonathon Swift was the first to use 'land of Nod' to mean sleep in the simplest sense, to me it means something more difficult than that: a place of both exile and sanctuary, where I lie awake and wonder what I've done wrong, or sleep as if I were courting oblivion, a fugitive and vagabond, exactly."

On disorders:
"What's galling is that sleep is supposed to be so natural, so easy - as easy as eating or sex, to name two other activities based on appetite- which risks perversion or failure for those who've somehow lost out on the opportunity to exercise them in health."

On dreams:
"The nocturnal fantasy of the world's most interesting man or woman is less interesting than the dullest person's recitation of what they had for dinner the night before..."

On the inhumanity of sleep deprivation:
"The ability to nod off is the ultimate exercise of freedom. The choice is not to be there: no wonder human-rights groups condemn sleep deprivation as a form of prisoner abuse. For almost every waking malaise-discomfort, depression, boredom-sleep is an escape. No one is bored by dreaming; no one is dissatisfied while sleeping. To keep a prisoner awake, then is to compound the confinement of his body with the incarceration of his consciousness."

On sleep after a night of recreational drugs:
"Ordinary people, whom you envy and hate, are just getting up now to go to work. The ass end of your night is a new beginning to them. Their normality is grotesque: your prodigality is disgusting."

On going into a sleep lab to be diagnosed:
"The creepy part was the room where the nurse led me, which had been made up to look like a cheap but clean motel room: polyester bedspread, flimsy night table, plastic lamp, and a TV bolted into a bracket hanging from the ceiling....I thought of the patients being attended to in adjacent rooms: it felt like I was in some particularly clinical whorehouse, and I wondered if the other bedrooms had been decorated differently as if in anticipation of clients fantasies...and if so, how and why had they decided that Motel 8 would work for me."

On napping properly:
"Long naps are a disaster...stay out of bed: napping on the couch is much better, or even on the floor, or in the passenger seat of a car while someone else is driving....you must wear more clothing than you do at night...if you sleep naked, some form of underwear is obligatory...if you sleep topless, a shirt; and if you sleep in pyjamas, I suppose you have to nap with your shoes on....If you own a dog, he should be in the same room as you: dogs are experts in the art of dozing and man and beast nod off twice as well together as either does alone."

On saying the unmentionable about sleep:
"Given how wonderful sleep is, imagine how pleasurable death must be."

And off I go. Good night!

Reference:
Lewis, Jim. "Notes from the land of Nod", Granta 88, Winter 2004

An A-Z of My Last Two Weeks Off-Blog

2005-01-06T16:56:00.000-05:00

A is for apathy, anxiety and anger that are my steady, constant companions

B is for baking my own banana bread which i'm still trying to eat my way through

C is for taking more interest in cooking (recent triumphs include sticky date pudding and souffle) even if it is femme-ey.

D is for damage control in my life; and for the lovely Denisa, my co-door girl at the NYE party I worked at who saved the night by being the antithesis of my Creature From the Deep.

E is for the Iraqi election that Atomic is going to work on in Iran; hoping all goes well before it goes to hell; and for the e-cards I received this year!

F is for the friends that helped me to cook and eat a wonderful christmas dinner for the orphans/heathens/atheists among us.

G is for Georgina who called me from the future (i.e. Australia) to wish me a Happy New Year.

H is for a Happy New Year to everybody - may what you're looking for find you this year and for the hole I found in the ass of my pants as they came out of the washing machine (here's to hoping I haven't been running around town like that).

I is for the "I Love Kissing" t-shirt that Claire sent me (Claire loves Animals and Georgina loves Reading).

J is for joke: How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? Whaaaat??? You mean you don't know???

K is for the Kiss Me brand mascara that is so amazing - its made of latex so it doesn't run.

L is for Love, Life and all the other big subjects best discussed over thai food.

M is for my masochistic tendencies.

N is for the nicorette/nicoderm regimen I will be embarking on shortly.

O is for being called "Auntie Oblivia" by human children and trying my best to be Auntie-like and "play".

P is for pfeffernuss that T.Lo sent me home with after a fabulous Xmas eve dinner at her house.

Q is for queueing at the SAQ (the crown corporation that sells booze in Quebec) because only a few outlets are open since their strike action mid-December which left me feeling terrible for crossing a picket line.

R is for the resolutions that I always say I'm not going to make to jinx things but do secretly anyway, never quite sure if it counts as a jinx if you make a resolution secretly; its also for the Roomies who are due back shortly from their respective overseas sojourns with, surely, many amusing stories to recount.

S is for the sighs that involuntarily escaped my lips as I made miso soup with udon noodles as my first meal of the year at 7:00am - so happy to be home, was I.

T is for the Tumour that you might have ("Its not a tooo-muh") and the frightening tsunami that made millions of hearts break worldwide.

U is for continuing to underestimate the time it takes me to do anything and everything.

V is for the vigilant watch I am determined to keep on the nature of the aid flowing to tsunami afllicted areas (How much of the aid that is pledged going to come through? Does it need to be in the form of credit lines as opposed to outright cash?)

W is for the W Hotel bar that had last call at midnight on Xmas eve - lame!

X is for Xmas that I'm trying to wean myself off of, even though I love the gift exchanging ritual.

Y is for having the strength to be you.

Z is for the "zzzzzzzzzzzz" status on my iChat for nearly 24 hours while I tried to sleep off the stupid flu

Yes, its true...

2005-01-05T01:27:00.000-05:00

...last post was Dec 24, 2004. I think I need a muse.